How to Encourage Quiet Employees to Speak Up - Without Putting Them on the Spot

Context

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Rebecca was a member of a healthcare team that Mike had been working with over multiple sessions. She was well-liked by her colleagues, competent in her role, and almost entirely silent in group settings. She did not speak to the people she worked with closely. She did not contribute in sessions. Everyone had accepted this as simply how she was.

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Mike had not.

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What happened

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Before one session, Mike approached Rebecca privately. He told her what the session would cover and what he was likely to ask the group. And he told her something that reframed the entire ask before it was even made: “If you don't participate, you're doing a disservice to everyone else, because they want to hear from you.” The accountability was not to him or to the session format. It was to her colleagues. Her contribution was not a performance requirement. It was something the group would be poorer without.

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Then he offered her something most facilitators don't think to offer: a choice about when.

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He explained the options honestly. Going first means you get it over with, but you're doing it cold, before the room has warmed up. Going last means the pressure builds the entire session, and everything has already been said by the time it's your turn. The middle is the sweet spot — the room has some trust in it, there's still something to add, and the anticipation doesn't have time to turn into dread.

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She chose the middle.

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Tenets in action

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‍Choice and Autonomy

Rebecca chose when to speak. That choice was real and was honoured.

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Trustworthiness and Transparency

She knew in advance what would be asked of her. Mike removed the surprise.

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Safety

The private conversation before the session created a different relational context than the group setting alone could have.

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What followed...

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At the end of one session, the group exchanged anonymous written feedback using envelopes with each person’s photo on the front — a practice borrowed from a leadership camp Mike had attended years earlier. The notes were positive, specific, and meant to name what each person contributed.

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Rebecca’s note to Mike read, in part:

“Thank you… you challenged me to get out of my comfort zone.”

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She had signed it. The note that could have been anonymous was not.

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Mike reflects:

“You don’t get a lot of affect from her. You can’t tell if she’s mad or happy. So it was really nice that she said that.”

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He also credits the employer who has continued to work with her:

“You have to give the most credit to the employer…because I think most people would give up.”

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That sustained commitment — the ongoing investment in creating conditions where Rebecca can contribute on her own terms, at her own pace — is itself a form of trauma-informed practice. It is what it looks like when an organization decides that a person's presence is worth the long work of earning their trust.

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Tenet in action:

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‍Strengths, Resilience, and Growth

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Rebecca was not fixed. She was given conditions in which she could grow incrementally, on her own terms, with a support structure around her that was not waiting for her to fail.